There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Shame - the story of my life.
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