I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
