just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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