If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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