Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize