What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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