What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
