I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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