i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
