Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
