I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
