Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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