She said her name was "party"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
