I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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