You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
