Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize