If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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