What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
