I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
