she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
