i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
did i just pee glitter
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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