and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
