i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
