Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
