How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
