Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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