even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
