Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
