I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
