Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i think i have herpe
just one?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize