i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
