Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize