Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
