She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
