apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
