Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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