I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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