White coat. Heels.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
