drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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