Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
