but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
