I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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