? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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