he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
