If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
