i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Holy sore nipples Batman
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
