I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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