We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize