After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
