sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
