I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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