I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
