I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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