This is not my ceiling
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
