Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
is wine microwaveable?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
