I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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