my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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