I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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