u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
