OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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