Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
