getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Two words: nipple clamps
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