Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
