I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
